god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
