I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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