Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
