did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize