Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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