sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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