With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
