Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
