You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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