i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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