Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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