I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am one with the molecules
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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