Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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