Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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