youre lurking in front of me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize