she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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