There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
