If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
