When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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