If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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