I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
