There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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