so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
