And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
