the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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