His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize