For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
