was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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