all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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