So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize