I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
