Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
