So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she smelled like a LAN party
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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