Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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