new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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