cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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