My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
