Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
