ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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