butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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