yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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