If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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