How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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