I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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