hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm determined to sit on that face.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
