It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
