She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
