You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
