that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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