Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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