im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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