I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
