Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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