Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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