she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
the raccoons are back...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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