I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize