It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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