Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
