Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
