break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
