just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
